I keep relapsing at work, what can I do?
I worked at this hotel for a year or so while I was in college. Sadley it became a place where I would relapse a lot because I was often alone and worked nights. The internet on the work computer was unrestricted and they had unrestricted WiFi for their guests. Also they had no employee policy about personal laptops at the work place, so a lot of us brought our own computers. Of course work environments are not typically concerned about making their places "porn proof." So let me explain to you what worked for me:
1. Talk to your Boss
Obviously you need to judge the situation yourself. Some of you work in an environment with a no-tolerance policy and you would lose your job. However, I think most of us have employers who are empathetic and want to help. In my case with the hotel, he definitely was. I asked to meet with him in his house and told him that I struggled with this addiction. I really liked working for him and I felt like I did a good job and was dependable. He agreed.
2. Add Pornography Filters
So my boss put up some type of pornography filter that was pretty good. It didn’t have any accountability features like NetAngel, but it was a good start. If you work in an environment that uses security services to protect their network, most of the time those have free filters that I.T. just needs to turn on. But most importantly, find something with accountability features.
NetAngel has a fixed device that we don’t sell publicly, but is a really easy solution. Just plug it in the back behind your computer and into the ethernet cord.
3. Install a Camera
My boss (for other reasons than just me) put up a security camera that faced behind the front desk. For me, that was a really big deterrent. I never knew who was going to be looking at those videos and I didn’t want one of me looking at pornography.
So if I had a problem at work, I would set up a private camera and give my wife and boss the password to the app so they could check up on me whenever they wanted to. I have a Samsung SmartCam at home that works great and can record during the day on an SD card. My wife can review the footage whenever she wants.
4. Go to an Addiction Counselor
At the time, I was seeing a counselor that was helping me work through my addiction. If this isn't something you are doing, you need to start.
You are risking your means of taking care of your family when you search for pornography at work. It doesn’t matter what industry you're in or if you're self-employed. Even if you don’t ethically or religiously believe in sex addiction, you have a serious problem because you don’t have the ability to wait until after work. We strongly recommend seeing a counselor that specialises in sex addiction and shame counseling. I prefer the Lifestar Network.
I wish I could say I never relapsed at work again, but it's not true. Yet, when I reflect on what gave me the most security, it was those four things. If I had all those in place, at least at work I was safe.
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