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Porn: It's Not Just a "Guy Thing"

By Allie Johnson |

Woman computer dark"Let me begin by saying how much I loathe myself for what I'm about to tell you," she began. Brittany* is a beautiful young woman who suffers silently with an addiction to pornography. "The first time I saw a naked woman in a provocative pose was when I was only 11 or 12. I was never taught about the dangers of the Internet, or anything to do about sex in general. I had heard the word 'pornography' tossed around, so I decided to find out what exactly it was... and that was the gateway to my addiction." Brittany is not alone in her addiction. Slowly, research about women and pornography usage is emerging.

When we hear the word "pornography", thoughts of men hiding in a secret place watching videos on their phones typically pop in our heads. However, in a study done in 2015 by photographer Marie De Cadenet, interviewed three-thousand women about pornography usage. The results were stunning: 30 percent said they watched porn every week, 30 percent said they watched porn a few times a month, and 10 percent said they watched it daily. The Internet has caused the accessibility and anonymity of pornography usage to skyrocket. It's so much easier to access now than in the past. 90 percent of women said they watch porn on the Internet, with 62 percent using their smartphones and 53 percent using their laptops. And oftentimes, numbers are under-reported due to the stigma associated with watching pornography. Another report showed 30 percent to 86 percent among women regularly watch pornography, according to Gert Martin Hald, PhD.

Women are typically drawn to different types of explicit material than men. Men are more likely to watch sex videos void of any true content. Faces, names, storylines; none of these are particularly vital to achieve the climax they desire. On the opposite side of the spectrum, women are more likely to watch videos with storylines, character, and foreplay. It caters more to the emotional need women experience, as opposed to the physicality men desire. There are many interesting factors that women have given for viewing pornography. Some are enticed because they know it is wrong; or they want to see what has their husbands so captivated, and become captivated themselves; some use it as a way to find ideas on how to behave during sex; some simply stumble on it by accident, like Brittany, and their curiosity is insatiable. "My curiosity was relentless," Brittany recalls. "I wanted to know more about sex... how to do it, how it sounded, how it felt." Shockingly, in a 2014 study by Pornhub, they found lesbian porn was ranked number one among women.

Girl apple laptop"I wish that people knew that pornography affects women too," Brittany continues. "Everyone blames pornography on men, but it's not only men viewing it. Sex is not a natural thing to view; sex is intimate and supposed to be shared with your lover! It's so incredibly special when you can have sex without feeling like you have to live up to an expectation. I constantly compete in bed with those images." Your sons are not the only ones in danger of an addiction to porn. Your daughters need protecting too. Don't only apply Internet filters to your sons' and husbands' phones; put one on your daughters' and wives' phones. With the emerging acceptance of pornography and promiscuity, women are at just as great a risk to addiction. Take the time to talk with your daughters about their sexuality. And remember: Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook, and all the new apps that are coming out contain pornography. Whether your child comes across it accidentally or intentionally, it is there. Brittany's words often echo in my mind: "Today, people don't think porn or masturbating is wrong. You wouldn't just walk into someone's home while they are having sex and sit there and join them. It's not natural. The moment I saw that first photo I knew it was wrong... but I just didn't know what to do." Women will continue being allured by pornography, just as men have – but we can help to stop the cycle.

* Name has been changed